It’s easy for outsiders to think study abroad students are living their best lives… But that isn’t always the case.

We all see the pictures flooding our Instagram feeds and Facebook timelines. Students gallivanting around from country to country every weekend, jumping from one exotic location to another, acting as if they’re having the time of their lives wine tasting their way through the European Union. What people fail to see, however, is beyond the photograph. Everyone talks about the “highlight reel” that is social media, and this couldn’t be more true for study abroad students.

People back home question how you could ever complain about your lifestyle, as you’re living the ultimate dream life that people would kill to have. But those people aren’t in your apartment when your roommates decide to go to dinner without you. They’ve never felt the discomfort of culture shock that makes you never want to leave your bed. They don’t know what it’s like to board a plane to a foreign country, barely knowing anyone, and pray that you will meet someone you can call a friend so you don’t have to do these four months all alone.

And then when you do make friends, it’s realizing two days into a ten-day spring break that you and your companions are not compatible traveling together and you have to figure out how to avoid killing them before you get back to your base city. It’s realizing around midterms week how much work you’ve been slacking on and the amount of effort it’s gonna take to catch up without having to miss the Barcelona weekend you’ve been planning for weeks (you can already taste that paella). It’s being stressed out because your anxiety isn’t letting you go to the cafe you’d love to try because it’s out of your comfort zone and nobody speaks English. It’s feeling so overwhelmed with your professor’s thick accent and radically different teaching style that you just don’t know how to go about completing your big assignment. It’s that moment when 2,000 things hit you at once and you just want to shut down forever.

Studying abroad might be increasingly common, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy by any means. You have to remember how strong you are for getting on that plane. Whether you decided to study abroad because your parents pushed it, your friends were all going so you decided to tag along, or you chose to take the plunge completely on your own, you are here now, and that’s something to be so proud of. You’re brave, you’re determined, and you want to make the very most of your time here.

Don’t let the tough times get you down. Like life in general, studying abroad has its ups and downs, and that’s okay. Remember that you are your own best friend, so do what you need to do to make YOURSELF happy. When I’m having a rough day, I go for a walk or take myself to coffee. I’ve learned to love my independence and my time to think. I’ve started to journal; writing helps me work out my feelings, and I love knowing that one day I’ll be able to look back on my time here through my words.

People at home may never understand because they’ve never lived it, but if you’re feeling anything less than total glee during your study abroad experience (or college time or life in general!), please know that you’re not alone. It is 100% OK to admit that things are harder than you thought. It doesn’t make you any less courageous or worthy of your experience. It just makes you human.

Find a school administrator or friend you can trust, and don’t be afraid to talk about how you’re feeling. And if you ever need a listening ear, I’m always here (seriously, I never sleep #nocturnal). Just take a deep breath, eat some chocolate, and know that it’s all gonna turn out OK :)