Stop Trying to Make Sense of My Anxiety
OK, so here’s the thing: we want to end the stigma against mental illness. We NEED to end the stigma against mental illness. But some people think the way to do this is by us explaining to them what makes us anxious.
News Flash: it’s not that simple.
As ridiculous as it sounds, most of the time even I don’t know why I’m upset. Take this week, for example. I spent three days on the verge of tears. I concocted a situation in my head (that was ENTIRELY made up) but somehow convinced myself it was true, and it was nearly impossible to go about my daily routine because I was consumed with this negativity. I was miserable and inconsolable; I went through the days like a zombie.
People with mental health issues often need a hug or someone to care, but it can be difficult for us to reach out. How can I talk about being sad when I don’t even understand why I’m crying?
My anxiety can be so illogical it’s insane. I told my friend I was upset and she asked me what was wrong… I immediately started crying harder. Nothing made sense. I felt like I had been run over by a truck, but to anyone around me, it was just another Monday.
Mental health is so, so important, not just today, but everyday. It has taken society so long to acknowledge the fact that those who live with mental illness are not broken. We are not defined by our struggles; we are not our illness. By being able to be open about our challenges, it is so much easier to live. I don’t have to pretend to be OK at work; if I am having a rough day, I can talk through it and people will listen. Mental health is just as valid a '“sick day” as a physical ailment. I am not admitting weakness if I say “Sorry, I can’t mentally do it today.” I live in a constant battle with myself and sometimes it just gets to be too much.
I am forever grateful for those who are patient with me and all those who live with mental illness. I just ask that you don’t tell us we’re being “irrational” or that we “have nothing to be upset about.” I get that it’s hard to figure out, because truthfully I’m usually just as confused as you about it. But saying we’re wrong to feel the way we do isn’t going to help anyone. If I could get up in the morning and never have to worry about my anxiety, that would be a dream, but it’s not my reality. So by supporting those who need it, you’re making our lives that much better.
Happy World Mental Health Day.
Please remember that I love you, I’m always here to talk, and you are perfect just the way you are.
xo Katie